With Sting/Flair in the books, Sting/Hogan is unfortunately around the corner. Also who will Robert Roode face this week? And will Austin Aries actually have a match on the show? Let’s find out. ( #TNAImpact tweets on @5cornersxSmootx ):

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#TNAImpact Alright, let’s do this.

#TNAImpact Oh great, Sting’s got an OpenOffice Word document in his hand.

#TNAImpact Sting’s getting a Hogan chant in order for him to come out and sign his OpenOffice document.

RT @WWEThatsNotPG – STING WANTED HOGAN OUT THERE, AND WE GOT HOGAN #supplyanddemand

#TNAImpact Hogan: “The Dog and Pony Show, the Smoke and Mirrors…” | YIN YANG, YES NO, HIGH LOW, MARCO POLO

#TNAImpact Hogan says he’s not medically cleared for BFG, Sting shows footage from last week to prove otherwise. That beats Medicine how?

#TNAImpact This is pretty bad when Hogan, WHO’S IN NO FUCKING SHAPE TO WRESTLE, is coming off like a face with Sting antagonizing him.

Hogan isn’t medically cleared but Ric-I-Almost-Had-A-Heart-Attack-Flair was? #TNA #ImpactWrestling

#TNAImpact Soooo, Sting made a match with Hogan at BFG without Hogan signing the OpenOffice contract. #TNAwful

#TNAImpact Kaz: “If you’re not running a Ho-House then why are you dressed like a Madame? Listen Jeff’s wife…” | WOW

#TNAImpact So the words, Brothel, Ho-House, and Madame were all used in the span of like 45 seconds. #ThatJustHappened

That > Hulk Hogan’s MCW RT @onecountkickout: Traci Brook’s tits look like she’s got two bald midgets in her shirt. #TNA #ImpactWrestling

RT @FuckTheKaizo@5CornersxSmootx by Sting’s logic all you need to work a match is basic punching ability… #JohnCenaOffense

RT @ZackZiggler@5CornersxSmootx Its pretty sad when all the TNA wrestlers have to tell the crowd “how great a shape they are/best in their lifetime”

#TNAImpact Holy Shit. I didn’t know that Kaz is married to Traci. One lucky bastard, both better than being subjected to TNA.

RT @Chux4w@FuckTheKaizo @5CornersxSmootx: That’s not Sting logic, it’s TNA logic.

RT @xChillerONEx@5CornersxSmootx The writers must be sexually frustrated.

RT @CaptainOMG@5CornersxSmootx don’t forget Khalioffense, batistaoffense,masonryanoffense, most guys over 280 lbs offense

#TNAImpact Can we just have a 120 minutes of female eye candy? Would be better than whatever’s planned tonight.

#TNAImpact Tenay: “Were you expecting to wrestle with that jacket on” | Taz: “I’d prefer it if she wrestled with nothing on” #LoosePigeons

#TNAImpact Fucking this, all day! RT @xChillerONEx: @5CornersxSmootx I REALLY miss the nitro girls!

#TNAImpact Tessmacher assfaces Mickie, Mickie enraged as if that brought flashbacks of how her snatch looks like the #2 combo at Arby’s.

RT @Chux4w – @K1NG_OTR: There are so many plants the Impact Zone should be renamed the Impact Greenhouse.

RT @WWEThatsNotPG – HANDING HER THE TITLE – THETITLETHETITLETHETITLETHETITLE #supplyanddemand

#TNAImpact I’m unable to comprehend what the fuck Mexican America just said. I think they’re going to a tattoo shop or something

RT @OneCountKickout – Mickie James doesn’t go for ass to mouth. She’s hardcore country, not hardcore hungry! #TNA #ImpactWrestling

#TNAImpact Coming up during the break ME VS A CAN OPENER! I’m sure it’s going to generate more buys than this show here tonight.

#TNAImpact Al Snow giving Jeff Hardy the YOU FUCKED UP rhetoric, where he says he needs start at the top. Uhhh?

(Should of) RT @WWEThatsNotPG – WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WANT? WHAT DOES EVERYBODY NEED? #supplyanddemand

#TNAImpact Al Snow giving Jeff Hardy the YOU FUCKED UP rhetoric, where he says he needs start at the top. Uhhh?

RT @Chux4w – @5CornersxSmootx: Start at the top and work your way down until you hit rock bottom again. Then down more until you find Matt.

#TNAImpact Right now, Austin Aries vs Jesse Somethingorother for the X-div title. Grown Up Kash coming down for some reason

#TNAImpact @ImpactWrestling plugged #ImpactWrestling related tweets at the bottom of the screen. I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING NEXT WEEK!!!

#TNAImpact Somethingorother and Kash are too busy messing with a football (wrong profession guys), Aries with a roll up win.

#TNAImpact Shame that wasn’t the President’s football that Kash & Jesse were messing with, they could’ve blown up the Impact Zone.

#TNAImpact So the electric can opener doesn’t want to work/is dying and I’m trying my hardest to figure out how a manual can opener works.

#TNAImpact Anarchia got his Tattoo outline, he wants the ‘itas to get him tequila because that isn’t stereotypical at all.

#TNAImpact Anarchia’s afraid of needles so he says a prayer with Hernandez right before Ink Inc ambushes them. Tetanus anyone?

#TNAImpact Anarchia and Shannon are battling in the front of the shop with a female shouting them down. CALL 911 DUMBASS

#TNAImpact Ink Inc beat down Anarchia and are about to give him a tattoo. My money’s on a Tweety bird/Woodstock tramp stamp.

RT @OneCountKickout – He’s scared of needles but he has like 8 tattoos already? #ImpactWrestling

RT @OneCountKickout – Ink Inc must have seen them when they were going through the dumpster behind the shop looking for food #ImpactWrestling #TNA

RT @Chux4w – It’s lucky there are so many wrestling props in this tattoo parlour, eh? #TNAImpact

RT @K1NG_OTR – “Hold on, Lemme close the door” and still hear you just as clearly Morgan #TNA #Impact

#TNAImpact I FUCKING GOT THE MANUAL CAN OPENER TO WORK, IT TOOK ME 3 SEGMENTS TO DO IT BUT I FUCKING DID IT!!! #EatMeABabyShark!

#TNAImpact *Ahem* We’re back and we get a shot of what appears to be RVD laid out. I think he tried the Van Damnator to himself.

#TNAImpact KURT ANGLE LAYING INTO JEFF HARDY SAYING THAT NO ONE WANTS HIM HERE AND HE’S RIGHT. WAY TO BE A FACE KURT!

RT @SpinninToeHold – Wow Kurt Angle talking with Jeff Hardy….Ironic.

RT @OneCountKickout – 14 time champion, 18 time DWI receiver, 25 time stalker, 36 time anabolic steroid possessor #ImpactWrestling #TNA

THIS!!! RT @DAsharpshooters: When is Steiner going to get his opportunity to yell at Jeff Hardy? I want to see this! #TNA #Impactwrestling

RT @WWFRAWISWAR@5CornersxSmootx I am shocked you haven’t had one of your tweets used on impact yet.

RT @GKickPerry@5CornersxSmootx He’s right, though. It’s Jeff Hardy. He’ll start at the top. If he were any other Hardy? Not so much. #SonIAmDisappoint

#TNAImpact Best and most satisfying can of Mini Raviolis happening over here. Take that Pennsylvania Amish roots!

#TNAImpact Kurt books Roode vs Daniels tonight. Roode: “Do you really think this is going to work? Do you?” | #StraightShooting

#TNAImpact Angle foreshadows Roode vs Storm at some point, Storm comes out to edited in boos. #TNAwful

#TNAImpact That line wasn’t PG or Heterosexual at all.

#TNAImpact Storm: “I heard you in the back saying you got all the stroke. Well why don’t you get on your knees & stroke my beer bottle.” WOW

RT @SpenceSupreme – Did James Storm just question Angle’s drinking abilities? Wow (insert DUI joke here) #TNAImpact

RT @OneCountKickout – Yeah but if James Storm spits beer in Angle’s face it will power him up like spinach does for Popeye #TNA #ImpactWrestling

RT @JohnLaryngitis – “Get on your knees and stroke my beer bottle” is the line Chyna used to pick up Triple H #ImpactWrestling #IWantWrestling

#TNAImpact Jerry Lynn and Bully Ray are out here auditioning for “Tag Team that nobody wants to see”. Watch out Otunga and McGillicuty!

#TNAImpact Taz: “I don’t like Anderson’s chances here, not one iota….Can I say iota?”

RT @Chux4w – Oh, I have to use #ImpactWrestling to get shown on TV? Ok, gotcha.

RT @SpenceSupreme – The word airbourne should not be used to describe a move done by Bully Ray. #TNAImpact

#TNAImpact So this is a 2 on 1 handicap matches. What are the odds that Zombie RVD comes down, interferes, & NOT have the match thrown out?

#TNAImpact Ken Anderson does a 5 minute job for Bully Ray and Jerry Lynn in 2011. #TNAwful

#TNAImpact Proud to partially be in that. RT @SpinninToeHold: Lmao that is purely coincidental twitpic.com/6ozyig

#TNAImpact Next set of commercials, breaking out a Sprite and a Klondike.

#TNAImpact Daniels coming out in street clothes with a mic instead of competing with Bobby Roode it seems. Smart man!

RT @OneCountKickout – Daniels can’t wrestle, he forgot his eyeliner at home #TNA #ImpactWrestling

#TNAImpact So after last week where Angle said if anybody in Fortune goes soft against Roode they’ll start at the bottom…Daniels forfeits

#TNAImpact Somebody’s mustache crooked? RT @WWEThatsNotPG: I’M THE BETTER MAN – THAT’S GENE OKERLUND’S GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT

#TNAImpact AJ and Daniels melee with security trying to separate them going into a commercial. Where’s that ice cream?

RT @Evil_Mr_McMahon#MatthewsTNA Matt Hardy beat the entire North Carolina Police Department in an X-Scape match. NO FELONIES!

RT @JohnTheRefCone – you notice that Mario is a lot fatter than louigi? RT @0912: @chadpattonwwe @johntherefcone #supermariobros yfrog.com/kkyounoj

#TNAImpact Tenay: “We’re back on Impact Wrestling and they’re STILL going at it!!!” | VINTAGE TNA! LOLOLOLOL

#TNAImpact WHY IS THERE A DIRECT AUTO INSURANCE BOOTH INSIDE THE FUCKING IMPACT ZONE? WHAT THE FUCKING HOLY HELL!?

#TNAImpact Agreed, have him talk sense to Jeff Hardy. RT @WWEThatsNotPG: THAT WAS NOT NEAR ENOUGH CRAZY STEINER TALKING.

RT @SpenceSupreme@5CornersxSmootx I’m surprised Abyss wasn’t back there getting a quote. It’s the only time he’s been on tv except for Immortal run-ins.

#TNAImpact Seriously, what the fuck was that with Direct Auto Insurance booth!? Is Jeff going to relapse and start freebasing 5-hour energy?

Was thinking about that ironically. RT @DAsharpshooters: They might as well turn the Impact Zone into a Wal-Mart. #tna #Impactwrestling

#TNAImpact I think Direct Auto Insurance missed the memo that Comic Con is the Summer, not September and thus settled for the Impact Zone.

#TNAImpact WE’RE BACK AND TWO WILD JACKRABBITS ARE SPAZZING OUT BACKSTAGE HERE.

#TNAImpact Anderson can take a low blow from Bully Ray a lot better than Daniels’ kick to AJ.

I dunno but it’s annoying as fuck. RT @chux4w: Why do they keep calling each other ‘bro’? #ImpactWrestling

RT @WWEThatsNotPG – THEY JUST SHOWED AJ PUKING. FUCK. THIS. COMPANY.

#TNAImpact Apparently “Bombshell Announcement” from Hulk Hogan next week. Hopefully a retirement home adopted him and will take care of him.

It’s smart, less weight means he can’t hold his liquor that well. RT @SpinninToeHold: Kurt Angle as a skinny drunk champion is disturbing

#TNAImpact Taz: “I tried wrestling Kurt, it didn’t work for me”

#TNAImpact A 14 person “Let’s Go Storm *clap clap clapclapclap*” chant. #TNAwful

RT @K1NG_OTR@5CornersxSmootx I’m telling ya, the camera row will be plant-central soon. Get paid just to act like more of a fan.

RT @Chux4w – So what’s this match for? Loser drives or loser buys the drinks? Or both? #ImpactWrestling

RT @SpenceSupreme@5CornersxSmootx They said bro so many times I thought they were going to transform into Robbie E. or something

#TNAImpact Haven’t said much because this is actually not a bad match here for a change. Storm’s proving himself here.

RT @WWEThatsNotPG – FIRST, @5CornersxSmootx THE BROSKI I COUNT ON FOR EVERYTHING, THE FUNNIEST ASSHOLE I KNOW, AND A GREAT GUY.

RT @WWEThatsNotPG – SECOND, @FemmeJoMo AND HER CAMPAIGN TO #SaveJohnMorrison . SHE’S PASSIONATE, DEDICATED, AND SO AWESOME IT HURTS.

RT @WWEThatsNotPG – GIVE THEM SOME LOVE GUYS. #supplyanddemand

#TNAImpact Taz: “That’s what Immortal is for, they’re a family of Kurt Angles…” | ???

#TNAImpact Sooo, did this match get thrown out or something? Was Brian Hebner the only ref on the clock this week?

#TNAImpact Also no resolution with Karen and Kaz, no resolution with Ink Inc/Mex America. This show has more holes in than swiss cheese.

#TNAImpact #WWE vs TNA in a plot hole off!

#TNAImpact Shout Outs in a moment, something about seeing @SteveAustinBSR in Damage with that construction hat that cracks me up every time.

RT @SirTweets_A_Lot@5CornersxSmootx Mike Tenay vs Michael Cole at Wrestleglory28

#TNAImpact Shouts: @WWEThatsNotPG @K1NG_OTR @SpenceSupreme @SpinninToeHold @CaptainOMG @AdamExtreme

#TNAImpact Shouts: @SirTweets_ALot @FuckTheKaizo @unsloved @Chrisyourpapi @GKickPerry @WWFRAWISWAR

#TNAImpact @chux4w @MasterGio @Tilt4lifee @406Northlane @xChillerONEx @Inst4ntCl4ssic @MrsZigglesworth @onecountkickout

#TNAImpact Shouts: @FuckTheKaizo @ZackZiggler @FemmeJoMo @penguinpop88 @Jasmine_Monroe @yawsrko @Alexrileysays @Kperfekt

Thx for liking the new twit pic: @MrsZigglesworth @Jasmine_Monroe @AdamExtreme @shyguy_2004 @xChillerONEx @FTheWheeler @FuckTheKaizo

#TNAImpact That’s going to be it for me, if I forgot anybody lemme know. Catch ya tomorrow for the Deserted Town of #Smackdown. Night!

RT @WWEThatsNotPG – GOODNIGHT LOVERS & FRIENDS. LOVE YOU ALL. LIKE ME ON FACEBOOK, THANKS FOR FOLLOWING ME ON TWITTER, & TEXT, DM OR @ YOUR RATED R TWITTER STAR

RT @MarkSatrang – that CM Punk ice cream bar t-shirt is the first piece of wrestling clothing I’ve wanted and wouldn’t be embarrassed to wear in a long time

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The most important thing that I got from this episode was me being able to work a manual can opener (because everything in this house is going to shit). Usually stayed away from the manual kind because I could never get em to work. With patience and help from @WWEThatsNotPG, I was able to enjoy my mini raviolis for the night!

Aside from that, there’s not much from this episode of Impact I wanna talk about.

#TNALogic has taught us that a person with a contract can ask someone to come out, berate them, not have them sign the contract, and wind up with an official match for a Pay Per View. This is exactly what happened at the first 10-15 minutes of the show with Sting calling out Hogan, Hogan trying to back out which who can blame him, and yet we somehow have an official match in October’s Bound for Glory. Gah.

I generally don’t have TOO much of a problem with product plugs, it’s when you try to overdue it and forces it upon us that irks me. Dave and Busters on RAW sponsoring a match, more recently the Miz schilling Subway, and AJ Styles/Chris Daniels brawling into a Comic Con-sized Direct Auto Insurance booth setup in the corner of the Impact Zone for some reason. I get that TNA’s hurting for money right now but come on. The ring aprons, sponsored replays, and turnbuckles aren’t enough for you?

Storm and Angle to close the show with no resolution was kind of odd. I mean at least throw out the match or make some kind of gesture/mention that it’s thrown out or a no contest. For all we know, the match is still in progress and could be picked up as TNA Impact hits the air next week. Well that and will we see Anarchia’s tramp stamp tattoo? Or how about Karen Jarrett and her decision on Traci/Kaz. This and a bunch more stuff that nobody wants to see, next week on Impact

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